November Notions - Today I'll Choose Joy
I am constantly questioning why there is so much stigma around mental health. Especially as one in four people will experience mental health problems at one point in their life. In addition to this, depression in youths has increased by 70% in the last twenty five years. Personally, I feel like these statistics are considerably high. If it affects that many people, why is there so much shame around it? When a person is physically injured, hospitalised or has broken a bone, they appear to be swarmed with affection and concern, get well soon cards and visits from family. Anxiety and depression can cause actual physical pain such as persistent migraines, headaches, stomach pains etc. I am not comparing the importance and severity of physical versus mental health (in my mind both are equally as important), but when a person is not mentally doing well, there isn't as much acknowledgement, concern or empathy it seems. Personally I feel like this could be because mental health 'sufferers' are good at acting like things are fine and conceal their feelings. Because of this their friends and family can't detect it. Alternatively, because of the stigma, people are embarrassed and ashamed to speak out about their issues and to seek the help they need . The stigma around mental health can also act as a barrier. People who suffer with mental health problems can be portrayed as dangerous or violent, as if they cannot lead a 'normal life' or that their lives are automatically unfulfilled. This is far from the case.
For one, I don't think there is such thing as a 'normal life'. What can a normal life be defined as? One persons normal differs from the next. There isn't a set of rules that defines normal. Normal is very interchangeable. I also disagree that people who are experiencing or have experienced mental health problems have unfulfilled lives and cannot achieve much. Charles Darwin suffered from severe panic disorder and his writings of Evolution Theory will always be important and key in the world of scientific discoveries. This barrier that is placed can be incredibly problematic. For people suffering with anxiety, stress,depression, bipolar etc, being portrayed in this way can be somewhat demotivating. When we watch television programmes such as Holby City or Criminal minds (both shows I enjoy - may I add), we are often given backstories to characters and these backstories can be viewed as characters motivations. On Criminal Minds, when we find out the unsub (unknown subject) has suffered from some sort of psychotic break or suffers from a mental disorder, it 'makes sense' that they are committing heinous crimes. Obviously for television purposes scenarios are heightened for entertainment purposes, but I can see why this raises qualms and apprehensiveness towards mental health. It should be noted, that some characters on the show are deemed psychopathic, which is a chronic mental disorder involving violent behaviour. This differs to anxiety, stress and depression which main components are persistent feelings of sadness and personal intrusive thoughts and concerns. I am not criticizing these shows, I thoroughly enjoy them but I am presenting the idea that there can be a confusion between different mental disorders and the characteristics of sufferers. It does not help either that when an American middle class man commits a crime, he is described as 'troubled' or 'mentally ill' but not a terrorist. There is automatically a search for mental health issues rather than truthfully labelling him as a terrorist, in comparison to the automatic negative connotations and racism that is associated with Islam (an issue I will get in to another day.) This representation can be extremely damaging as it can create the illusion that men with mental health issues are a danger to society and that a main symptom of male mental health problems is mass murder. If that was really the case, surely every day we would hear about mass massacres? Males and females suffering with a mental health disorders can achieve above and beyond - thus masking terrorism with this mental health phenomena creates a plethora of problems and can subconsciously create a barrier limiting mental health sufferers future.
At the American Music Awards early this month, Selena Gomez delivered an incredibly eloquent and emotional speech when accepting her award for pop/rock artist of the year. The short speech delved on her trying to 'keep it together' although she was broken inside. Selena winning the award shows that if you are 'broken' you don't have to remain that way and how possible it is to overcome your illness and achieve great things. The extremely talented rapper, Kid Cudi (Scott Mescudi) , released a statement on October 5th on Facebook expressing that he has submitted himself in to rehab due to his depression and suicidal urges. This post played on my mind for weeks after as Cudi finished the post expressing that he was sorry 'if he had let anyone down.' Why should he feel the need to apologise? After reading this I felt sorry and upset. I felt sorry that we live in a society where it is more acceptable to suffer in silence rather than reach out for mental help. I felt sorry that he was scared and not at peace. And I felt sorry that he was being held back in life because of it. These are all feelings and emotions so many can relate to. People who have mental health problems are made to feel ashamed and isolated and that is wrong. Mental health is already a dark tunnel, an opaque void - so instead of isolating sufferers, it is time to create a society where people feel able to reach out for the light at the end of the tunnel. Especially as suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50.
Last week an article in the Daily Mail about the men in the I'm A Celebrity jungle, titled 'Sniff Sniff, Why Are So Many Grown Men Blubbing Like Babies In Celebrity Jungle? absolutely appalled me. Why are men archetyped to be extremely macho caricatures that can't express their feelings? and if they do they are 'wimpy' or 'should stop being like such a girl.' Evidence and research is showing that poor mental health is significantly affecting male quality of life so why is this mockery still going on? If you are feeling depressed you should speak out regardless of your gender. This mockery appears to be playing a heavy role in society when it shouldn't. You shouldn't feel governed to act in a certain way by a group of people who thrust 'societal norms' in your face. It isn't easy but create your own norms. To anyone reading this, I am personally addressing you that is okay to reach out for help if you need it and there is no need to be embarrassed. As human beings, it should be our duty to try and make the world a better place and one way this can be done is by showing love,light and compassion to people with mental health problems. Everybody needs help sometimes.
If you are worried about someone you know, the most reassuring way to lend a hand is to be a compassionate listener. Rather than give advice, listen to your friend if they come to you feeling anxious or depressed. If you yourself have not experienced low self esteem or poor mental health, hearing expressions such as 'stop feeling sorry for yourself' really will not help.It is not uncommon that your loved one may not even know themselves what is wrong, making their feelings even more confusing and frustrating, triggering even more sadness. Ask them what you can do to help and keep checking on them. Like Malcolm X said 'When I is replaced with We, even illness becomes wellness.' We can build a society that cares about mental health. Depression and overly sad feelings are not just things that go away. They drain your optimism, motivation and energy. Provide whatever help your loved one needs and wants to accept. Sometimes just a persons presence can bring reassurance. Encourage healthy eating and lifestyle habits. It is important to remember alcohol is a depressant and while you are drinking it you may feel on top of the world, but the next day you can feel trapped under the weight of all the bad things that have happened to you.
If you are suffering from mental health problems, it is important to take pride in your small victories. Even, getting out of bed is a huge achievement. Recognise that your victories will be different to someone else's but that doesn't invalidate them in any way. Your victories might be something like making your bed, eating or showering after days of being bed bound, while someone else's might be writing a poem or stopping themselves from binge eating. It is okay to be selfish sometimes and make you a priority - as in the long run your mental health may thank you for it. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people. If you are already feeling down you shouldn't be around negativity or people who bring you down. Toxicity is never good. Remind yourself that you are a work in progress. We all are.
I myself am learning how to process my thoughts and work out whether they are coming from me or the places that need healing. I recognise , my anxieties and my intrusive thoughts. I recognise that I have come a long way. I am happy, but also have a fair bit to go until I will have 'good mental health' in the sense of wellbeing, self-esteem and confidence. But today, I will focus on the positives like my incredible friends, the sun shining and how close it is to Christmas. Today I'll choose joy. But, I confess it is not always that easy.
If you are currently a student at Loughborough University, Nightline an out of hours confidential hotline has been set open Monday, Wednesday and Friday during term time 20:00-8:00am. Please click the link for more details - https://www.lsu.co.uk/yourunion/london/support/nightline/
If you are a student there is also the organisation Students Against Depression http://studentsagainstdepression.org/tackle-depression/
Other websites and help lines available are :
SANE
http://www.sane.org.uk/what_we_do/support/helpline
and
MIND
http://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helplines/
For persistent mental health symptoms please contact your GP.
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