January Discussions - Self Love
HAPPY 2017 EVERYONE!
I hope so far your year has been going great. To any students reading this who have finished their exams well done! To those who haven't keep going you got this.
2016 was filled with highs and lows. Terrible events happened daily in the world and sometimes watching the news was draining. Towards the end of 2016, Trump winning the election and electoral college ruffled many feathers, but as we live in a democracy, he earned his presidency. Despite the craziness right now we must remain hopeful that he becomes a good leader, he certainly has the power to be, and that he becomes more understanding of the people's needs. There may be a time when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time where we fail to challenge and question. Hopefully, this year will be better for you in all aspects! :)
A phrase that is frequently thrown around is self-love. Now the dictionary defines self-love as 'regard for one's own well-being and happiness.' Notice this definition doesn't say anything about 'other people's love', it doesn't focus on other people, it focuses on you. It isn't about what the Instagram models are doing, or the amount of likes your friend got on their facebook photo, or how the fitness guru's look, it is about you and how you feel about yourself.
I get it, I understand the difficulties there is around us to look 'perfect' and to look a certain way, but that is an unobtainable goal. It took me several years to understand this and not be so hard on myself, there are enough critiques in the world, be an encourager or your own encourager! Not even the people in glossy magazines look like the people in magazines. There is nothing wrong with not looking perfectly airbrushed all the time, your nose, your acne scars, your quirks, they make you!
I am a worrier, I worry about everything, feel anxious often, even the change of tone in someone's voice within conversation sometimes makes me think I've done something wrong. But that's something I am working on. I worry that people think I am arrogant or pretentious because I am bubbly, or because of my sense of humour, or because I write my own blog as a creative outlet, but it is important to realise that other people's opinion of me, do not concern me and I shouldn't focus on them. Like yourself enough to realise that whatever negativity people have to say, does not matter. People who are secure within themselves would not put other people down, confident people raise others up.
It also important to remember that magazines, social media, and ads are not an accurate representation of real life. These people don't publish the bad things, or disclose how long it took to get that 'A1 selfie' with that perfect lighting (openly admit I am guilty of this because it does take me a long time lol to try and attempt this), and how hard these fitness stars are tensing. We see these amazing selfies, lavish lifestyles, and jetsetters so understandably it could make us envious and question our own value. But, our worth should never belong or be in the hands of other people. Our view of these people shouldn't taint the view of ourselves. If you constantly compare yourself to other people you are undoubtedly going be upset. If you think with this mentality, there is always going to be someone skinnier than you, funnier than you, smarter than you, richer than you, but they'll never be you. Pride yourself on being an individual and that you are you in your own unique way.
Growing up, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed with Christina Aguilera's ft Redman - Dirrty music video. Now I will always love this video and six year old me was mesmerised and thought it was the best thing ever, the boxing, the sultriness, the dancing, the outfits, just everything! Undeniably Xtina has an insane figure and an extremely toned tummy and obviously, her and the record company would not have released a video where she looked bad. She is supposed to look good, and she succeeds. The male dancers also look great, but I am starting to realise that you cannot compare yourself to these figures in the public eye who go to public events, or release videos, as they are supposed to look good and often hours of preparation can be spent on creating the final look or weeks in the gym etc.
I want to stress that social media is not an accurate representation of real life. Earlier this month I contracted a bad eye infection (which I still have), and was tagged on a facebook photo a couple of days ago where you cannot see my eye because of the angle and the person who took the photo was standing far away, but the infection was very bad. The fact you couldn't see the crimson lump on my eye made me think about how many photos I've viewed that look normal but could in fact be brimming with imperfections. (and that's okay) My friend also gave me a toy eye patch because my eye was aching so much which I didn't really rock lol but oh well, I was fine with that.
One of my favourite fitness bloggers at the moment is @zannavandijk, she appears to be an incredibly down to earth woman who recently posted a video of showing difference angles and tensing make to define abs in photos, showing that she doesn't always looks chiselled and that is okay. Having abs is okay, not having abs is okay, what's not okay is telling someone else how they should or shouldn't look.
I am a firm believer that the relationship you have with yourself, sets the tone and relationship you have with other people. Self-love is all about focusing on you, acknowledging who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them or striving to improve to become the best you possible for you! It has nothing to do with arrogance, it is about appreciating your worth and who you are inside and out. You wouldn't like it if someone said unkind things to your friends, so why beat yourself and bring yourself down about things you cannot change? or if you want to go ahead and get those muscly biceps, stop wishing and start doing, but do it, do it for you not for anyone else. Don't please other people. Please yourself.
This year, I am obsessed with becoming an individual comfortable within my own skin as I have spent so many years feeling uncomfortable, focus on the positives and celebrate my achievements.It won't be an easy journey I know. There will be times where I do not practice what I preach and have low self-esteem etc, but for now I really want to try living with this mindset. You should try it too.
Thanks for reading,
Kes x
I hope so far your year has been going great. To any students reading this who have finished their exams well done! To those who haven't keep going you got this.
2016 was filled with highs and lows. Terrible events happened daily in the world and sometimes watching the news was draining. Towards the end of 2016, Trump winning the election and electoral college ruffled many feathers, but as we live in a democracy, he earned his presidency. Despite the craziness right now we must remain hopeful that he becomes a good leader, he certainly has the power to be, and that he becomes more understanding of the people's needs. There may be a time when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time where we fail to challenge and question. Hopefully, this year will be better for you in all aspects! :)
A phrase that is frequently thrown around is self-love. Now the dictionary defines self-love as 'regard for one's own well-being and happiness.' Notice this definition doesn't say anything about 'other people's love', it doesn't focus on other people, it focuses on you. It isn't about what the Instagram models are doing, or the amount of likes your friend got on their facebook photo, or how the fitness guru's look, it is about you and how you feel about yourself.
I get it, I understand the difficulties there is around us to look 'perfect' and to look a certain way, but that is an unobtainable goal. It took me several years to understand this and not be so hard on myself, there are enough critiques in the world, be an encourager or your own encourager! Not even the people in glossy magazines look like the people in magazines. There is nothing wrong with not looking perfectly airbrushed all the time, your nose, your acne scars, your quirks, they make you!
I am a worrier, I worry about everything, feel anxious often, even the change of tone in someone's voice within conversation sometimes makes me think I've done something wrong. But that's something I am working on. I worry that people think I am arrogant or pretentious because I am bubbly, or because of my sense of humour, or because I write my own blog as a creative outlet, but it is important to realise that other people's opinion of me, do not concern me and I shouldn't focus on them. Like yourself enough to realise that whatever negativity people have to say, does not matter. People who are secure within themselves would not put other people down, confident people raise others up.
It also important to remember that magazines, social media, and ads are not an accurate representation of real life. These people don't publish the bad things, or disclose how long it took to get that 'A1 selfie' with that perfect lighting (openly admit I am guilty of this because it does take me a long time lol to try and attempt this), and how hard these fitness stars are tensing. We see these amazing selfies, lavish lifestyles, and jetsetters so understandably it could make us envious and question our own value. But, our worth should never belong or be in the hands of other people. Our view of these people shouldn't taint the view of ourselves. If you constantly compare yourself to other people you are undoubtedly going be upset. If you think with this mentality, there is always going to be someone skinnier than you, funnier than you, smarter than you, richer than you, but they'll never be you. Pride yourself on being an individual and that you are you in your own unique way.
Growing up, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed with Christina Aguilera's ft Redman - Dirrty music video. Now I will always love this video and six year old me was mesmerised and thought it was the best thing ever, the boxing, the sultriness, the dancing, the outfits, just everything! Undeniably Xtina has an insane figure and an extremely toned tummy and obviously, her and the record company would not have released a video where she looked bad. She is supposed to look good, and she succeeds. The male dancers also look great, but I am starting to realise that you cannot compare yourself to these figures in the public eye who go to public events, or release videos, as they are supposed to look good and often hours of preparation can be spent on creating the final look or weeks in the gym etc.
I want to stress that social media is not an accurate representation of real life. Earlier this month I contracted a bad eye infection (which I still have), and was tagged on a facebook photo a couple of days ago where you cannot see my eye because of the angle and the person who took the photo was standing far away, but the infection was very bad. The fact you couldn't see the crimson lump on my eye made me think about how many photos I've viewed that look normal but could in fact be brimming with imperfections. (and that's okay) My friend also gave me a toy eye patch because my eye was aching so much which I didn't really rock lol but oh well, I was fine with that.
One of my favourite fitness bloggers at the moment is @zannavandijk, she appears to be an incredibly down to earth woman who recently posted a video of showing difference angles and tensing make to define abs in photos, showing that she doesn't always looks chiselled and that is okay. Having abs is okay, not having abs is okay, what's not okay is telling someone else how they should or shouldn't look.
I am a firm believer that the relationship you have with yourself, sets the tone and relationship you have with other people. Self-love is all about focusing on you, acknowledging who you are, your strengths and weaknesses and accepting them or striving to improve to become the best you possible for you! It has nothing to do with arrogance, it is about appreciating your worth and who you are inside and out. You wouldn't like it if someone said unkind things to your friends, so why beat yourself and bring yourself down about things you cannot change? or if you want to go ahead and get those muscly biceps, stop wishing and start doing, but do it, do it for you not for anyone else. Don't please other people. Please yourself.
This year, I am obsessed with becoming an individual comfortable within my own skin as I have spent so many years feeling uncomfortable, focus on the positives and celebrate my achievements.It won't be an easy journey I know. There will be times where I do not practice what I preach and have low self-esteem etc, but for now I really want to try living with this mindset. You should try it too.
Thanks for reading,
Kes x
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